Reflections
by karma659
Summary: I won't forgive you...but I think I can understand now...


Disclaimer: I don't own it, Gainax does.

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Elbows resting on the desk, his fingers laced in front of his face, the Supreme Commander of NERV coldly regarded the figure before him.

"Well, doctor, do you have the information I requested, or are you simply here to waste my time?"

Shifting nervously, the woman hesitated slightly before answering.

"Y-yes, sir." She stepped forward and slid the manila folder in her hands toward him. Flipping it open briskly, he stared down at the printouts, the near constant frown on his face deepening as he continued to read.

Upon seeing his reaction to the data, the woman winced slightly, wishing that she was somewhere, anywhere else but here. She always hated being summoned to this place, this massive office made specifically to intimidate, everything from the Systema Sephirotica carved into the ceiling, to the enormous black marble desk, to the intimidating shadow sitting behind it.

"These results are unacceptable doctor."

Snapped out of her reverie by the cold harshness of the Commander's voice, she took a slight breath in and attempted to regain her composure and soften his negative reaction.

"Sir, in light of recent events, I don't think that these synch scores should be weighed so heavily against them..."

"And why is that doctor? This is war. Soldiers are meant to fight, and when necessary, die. Pilots that are useless in combat are worthless to me."

"Sir if I may, I-"

"No, Doctor, you may not. However, what you _will_ do is schedule another battery of synch tests for 0600 hours tomorrow, and the pilots _will_ remain in their entry plugs, until such time that their performance meets the standards of this organization."

"Sir! Please reconsider! Unit-01's pilot is highly unstable at this point in time. Additional testing will only increase the mental strain! He's on the verge of a breakdown as it is! The slightest push could send him over!"

"You have your orders, Doctor. Do not question my authority, or else I shall be forced to replace you, just as I did your predecesso-"

"What would your wife think if she could see you now!?"

She knew she was dead as soon as the words came out of her mouth.

The Commanders eyes widened for a split second, shocked at her brazen audacity. His surprise quickly gave way to burning rage, as his eyes narrowed dangerously and his white-gloved hands tightened in front of his face.

'I am not going to leave here alive' the panicked woman thought to herself. She briefly entertained the idea of running out of there as fast as she could, however she realized that the Commander would have no qualms about shooting her in the back.

Three seconds passed by, an eternity, and not a word was spoken, the deadly silence frightening her more deeply than anything ever had in her entire life.

"Go. Now."

Though spoken quietly, the words echoed with a palpable rage, and carried with them the promise of death.

Nodding slightly, she turned away from the desk, her trembling knees barely able to support her weight. She had just made it to the door, when she heard the Commander's voice call out, bringing her up short.

"Doctor...If you ever speak of my wife again...I'll kill you."

As soon as the door slid shut behind her, she collapsed upon it, heart pounding in her ears, on the verge of crying. Yes, Maya Ibuki, the present chairwoman of Project E, had certainly had better days. Collecting herself as best she could, she turned left down the hallway to and headed towards Central Dogma.

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Back inside his office, the Commander set aside the papers detailing the results of the latest synch tests. Slipping off his gloves, he ran a thumb over the biometric scanner embedded in the black marble of the desk. A drawer silently slid open, its contents a single, framed photograph. In it, a strikingly beautiful woman with short hair, and a handsome young man with stormy blue eyes sat on a park bench, smiling back up at him. The Commander carefully removed it from the drawer and ran his fingers over the glass, almost reverently.

"Soon...we will be together again." He murmured. "The scenario has been put into motion, and all the cards have been dealt...it's only a matter of time now. Will you forgive me, in the end for all that I have done? For what I have done to our child? No…perhaps not...but it doesn't matter. If I can just see you once more, hold you in my arms again, if only for a moment..."

He closed his eyes, and envisioned her in his mind, happy and whole again, laughing and smiling. The way it was before the child, the one that took her away from him. The one she sacrificed her life, her very soul, for.

His eyes snapped opened, and he returned the photograph to the drawer and slid it shut. There was still work to be done. The child needed to be broken, and soon. He was close now, so close…

'Soon, Rei...we'll be together again...'

Deep in the bowels of NERV, Shinji Ikari smiled.

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A/N: First fic! Though not the most original concept, I've always loved the idea. Not sure if I'm going to leave it as a one-shot, or polish it up and run with it. Any ideas or constructive criticism is fully welcome and highly appreciated!


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